Housewifery.

Today I did all the things that housewives do as I now live

in suburbia.

1. I worked out a little on the Eliptical machine. Which is a low impact work-out machine, which doesn't hurt my knees, and wouldn't be too intense if I was pregnant (and I am so far from being pregnant, but just wanted to further explain why the Eliptical is essential for every family home).
2. I did laundry. Whites and colors. And towels.
3. I made an egg-white omelet. With tomato's and avocados. And had some challah. Because I am Jewish.
4. Then I brought in the garbage cans from outside. Which would generally be a man's job, but as I am the only one home right now (as in both my parents are on vacation in Nova Scotia, yes my life just got a little sadder) I took on the responsibility.
5. I listened to NPR as I perused the Internet for interesting things to do today, and to get caught up on the weekend's gossip.
6. I folded laundry while watching an afternoon movie. Today I watched "10 Things I Hate About You," and mourned the death of Heath Ledger and celebrated the comeback of Joseph Gordon Levitt.
7. I ran the dishwasher. (Using the verb "ran" is very important when referring to your dishwasher, instead of "turning on". It is imperative that you take on the vocabulary once you are taking on the position of a housewife.)
8. I went for a sentimental car ride to look at my old house. (This can only be done if you are currently living in the same area as your first home that you grew up in. It can be very cathartic. I enjoy turning up cheesy 90's music, singing to it very loudly, while uncontrollably weeping. Of course that is all optional.)
9. I sat comatose in front of the television.
10. Talked to my old college roommate on the phone. (We actually just stopped being roommates less than a week ago, but it is more effective if I say "my old college" then just saying my roommate.)
11. Then I decided to bake a cake. The cake I decided to make was dictated by the fruit that was about to die on the counter. I made an "Upside Down Plum and Blackberry Cake." (http://chefinyou.com/2010/07/plum-berry-cake-recipe/) Here is what I had to substitute because I didn't have all the ingredients. The recipe also outlined things I could substitute. I went overboard.

A. Blueberries for Blackberries. (Not a huge deal)

B. Yogurt and water for Buttermilk. (I used

Greek Yogurt, it's all I had. I think it was a mistake.)

C. Matzo Meal for Cornmeal. (This is where I feel like my biggest mistake was made. I had no cornmeal, which I realized moments before I had to use it. I could not give up. I could not back down. I could not go to the grocery store. I figured it's meant to be similar to corn meal during Passover why not now.)

I put it in tupperware in the back of the fridge.

I am now officially a housewife.