Open Availability. Except for Sundays from 12-3 when I take Improv.

So I realize we are in an economic slump. The job market is at the worst(this is a really weird word if you say it out loud and type it at the same time)place since the depression, and I decided that this was the time to move from New York where I was happily working as a waitress to move to Chicago to... pursue the same thing here in Chicago.

And I REALIZE, that while my experience may not be exactly what you are looking for...

-Worked as a waitress in a busy upscale restaurant in the heart of Soho for over 4 years: so basically I am incredibly personable, responsible, and able to talk about food for hours

-Interned at four offices over the past five years: they all happened to be theater offices, BUT I WILL TELL YOU Mr. Person I am applying TO: that theater offices are busier than any of your silly offices. I know because theater people are crazy onstage or off.

-Teaching Artist: teaching kids Shakespeare. This should get me any job, because if I can get a kid to like Shakespeare I can do anything...I truly mean this.

Because I am getting little to no feedback in my job search I am looking into pursuing other job opportunities:

-Modeling

-Cookie Decorating

-Chess Tutoring (I am completely unqualified for this, but there always seems to be an ad for a chess tutor where I could earn 60 an hour. So, if you are reading this and you want a chess tutor. Consider me Bobby Fisher).

-Flier hander outer

-Bicycle delivery lady (I don't own a bike, nor have I lived here long enough to make this a viable job)

I mean what I am truly confused about it why my BFA in theater isn't getting me anywhere. I have a BFA from NYU Tisch in THEATER!!! Do you understand?!? I am overly qualified for all jobs I apply because of my ability to imagine a given circumstances and character. I am overly qualified because I can create a movement piece exploring what it means to have to sit behind a desk and answer phones and file things.

I CAN ACCESS YOUR EMOTIONS.

hire me. please.